Romeo and Juliet syndrome: what is this condition of falling in love with who we shouldn’t?

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William Shakespeare’s famous play,Romeo and Juliet“, is the name given to the psychological syndrome, which according to UNAM experts, is characterized as “an impossible love.” See what it’s all about.

The Romeo and Juliet complex or syndrome it is a sudden and intense infatuationwhich in adolescence is considered normal, but when it arises in the adult stage it can be pathological, says Manuel González Oscoy, academic of the Faculty of Psychology of the National Autonomous University of Mexico (UNAM).

According to the expert, in adolescents, falling in love is a normal process, because in relationships with the opposite sex there is an attraction facilitated by chemicals in the brain, such as adrenaline and dopamine, among many others.

At this time, says the expert, the adolescent projects lifelong plans with his partner, but in reality, these relationships last only a few months. This is because infatuation has the characteristic of lasting approximately 18 months and then comes the time to bring the relationship to love or end.

When it comes to the Romeo and Juliet syndrome it is not possible to reach love because the person no longer feels the same as at the beginning and there is no excitement, adrenaline and interest is lost.

This syndrome is characterized by the fact that the couple faces many obstacles and this encourages them to continue the relationship, but if it ends too soon, it becomes an eternal love, an “impossible love” that is remembered throughout life.

When the Romeo and Juliet syndrome arrives in the adult stage, that is, between 40 and 60 years of age, it becomes a psychopathologicalbecause they are middle-aged people with adolescent behavior and they are looking for one relationship after another.

When an adult person cannot establish loving relationships with a certain stability, whether in the medium or long term, they need professional help, says González Oscoy.

For treat this psychopathology, The UNAM academic suggests strengthening the reality principle in the person affected, which has been weakened since adolescence. “We must locate it from the different areas, such as work, family, education, etc.”

“From the affective question, the psychologist looks for what the person needs, whether it is to give love, to be loved, if he needs to be protected, so that he can give meaning to his reality and get out of his fantasy.”

“Sometimes they fall into the attitude of ‘I am the gentleman who saves the lady.’ Therefore, the individual must be located in their conscious and unconscious needs that come from family history, their relationship with the father, mother, siblings, ties, emotions that they offered when being cared for, protection, or, on the contrary, devaluation, decrepitity, aggression, etc.”, says the specialist.

“In this way, the person will separate the elements to discover what their true desire is and thus be able to solve it”, concluded the university academic.